Within days of moving to the frozen north, I find myself frolicking through snow covered parking lots wearing only a sweatshirt and spouting steam from my nostrils like a diseased water buffalo. Having grown up hip deep in snow for nine-odd years, I find it simple to ease back into the habit of grabbing for mittens to check the contents of the fridge. Acclimation is good for these reasons. Otherwise, I might find myself carrying a heat rock everywhere, like an iguana.
To my dad's disapproval, I have also acclimated to another aspect of my life. Never have I fallen into something with such ease and enthusiasm. No, I am not talking about my punk phase from college. I am, of course, referring to unemployment. Oh blessed days of sweet nothingness. 'Tis to you I drink this champagne toast at 9:45 AM bedecked with mismatched slippers and tatty nightgown. I grieve for the fact that your days are numbered.
Friday, March 21, 2008
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Family Based Superpowers?
I am wondering if my impressive array of superpowers was passed genetically rather from that nuclear waste bath I took when I was seven. For proof of said superpowers, see the list of relatives that attended/were visited on my recent holiday:
Me, Sister J and boyfriend R, Brother B and Wife C, Mother, Father, Cousin J, Aunt L, Uncle T, Aunt E, Cousins L and G, Grandma R, Cousin Bob and Aunt T, Uncle S and new wife K, a cute Dog, Wife C's mother, Uncle D and semi-aunt (legally) T, and cousin J's semi-ex girlfriend J. And these were just the ones who made it to the beach house. 23 in all and I am sure that I am missing someone or another. There were another 5 relatives back in Salem to be seen.
We were all in no particular order tired, overworked, chatty, insomniacs, alpha dogs, avoiders, lazy, surly (me), compulsively clean, compulsively messy, territorial, ditzy, dazed, napping, hiking, flying kites, vegetarian, natural foodists, covered up to elbows in BBQ rib sauce, watching Top Gun or Sharking the pool table.
On top of that, we were in a four bedroom killer beach house. Five of us were in the process of moving immediately before/after/during vacation. Two were trying to start a family. Most were coming in and leaving at various times during the week. And, we had a minimum of one and max of three rental cars to shuffle about the impressively contented masses.
Given all of the above, no fights erupted and all major snafus were derailed by a cunningly placed glass of wine or the judicious use of NyQuil.
Me, Sister J and boyfriend R, Brother B and Wife C, Mother, Father, Cousin J, Aunt L, Uncle T, Aunt E, Cousins L and G, Grandma R, Cousin Bob and Aunt T, Uncle S and new wife K, a cute Dog, Wife C's mother, Uncle D and semi-aunt (legally) T, and cousin J's semi-ex girlfriend J. And these were just the ones who made it to the beach house. 23 in all and I am sure that I am missing someone or another. There were another 5 relatives back in Salem to be seen.
We were all in no particular order tired, overworked, chatty, insomniacs, alpha dogs, avoiders, lazy, surly (me), compulsively clean, compulsively messy, territorial, ditzy, dazed, napping, hiking, flying kites, vegetarian, natural foodists, covered up to elbows in BBQ rib sauce, watching Top Gun or Sharking the pool table.
On top of that, we were in a four bedroom killer beach house. Five of us were in the process of moving immediately before/after/during vacation. Two were trying to start a family. Most were coming in and leaving at various times during the week. And, we had a minimum of one and max of three rental cars to shuffle about the impressively contented masses.
Given all of the above, no fights erupted and all major snafus were derailed by a cunningly placed glass of wine or the judicious use of NyQuil.
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