The conundrum of decision-making and all that...

I realized something this evening, and thought I'd share. Granted, many of you are much smarter than I and already have this wisdom. It was just one of those many, many moments I have had recently where, having chosen a particular path for a section of my life, two days later, I am overcome with chooser's remorse. I want back my decision, because it's obvious that I am not going to succeed at that particular career (in this case). And, as I was busy trumping up the decision and talking all poetically in my head about how I was on a precipice and had to decide NOW what my life was going to look like for the next 40 years when suddenly it hit me:

Once you choose something, you always have the option to recant.

(Barring, of course, such choices as giving away your kidney, adopting a child, or being romantically linked with michael jackson, you're kind of stuck with those.)

I know, I know, this isn't exactly rocket science (is it B?). But this seriously blew my mind. What? I can back out of something at any given time? I don't have to plan everything down to the smallest minute detail and agonize over my imminent failure/doom? What the hell am I going to do with all my free time if I'm not envisioning being stoned in the street for failure to live up to my impossibly high standards? I'll probably take up canasta.

Fact is, human beings are flighty, inconsequential creatures and we spend more time messing up and goofing around than actually being great, or whatever. Those with a fear of success/failure need to just take a valium and let ourselves be essentially human rather than talk ourselves out of it. If I decide not to follow this direction of life sometime in the future, I can pretty much guarantee that I am not wasting my time now. Because, it's not like, in abandoning what I want right now I am going to go out and initiate world peace or fight evil in a shiny suit of spandex. if I wasn't pursuing my half-assed dream, chances are, I'd just be watching reruns of firefly.

So I hereby give myself permission to be monumentally selfish with my time, dedicated to a [potentially] lost cause, and subsidize the local coffee shop with my daily patronage. Thank you coffee shop. [you're nice]